The story is told of a king in Africa who had a close friend with whom he grew up. The friend had a habit of looking at every situation that ever occurred in his life (positive or negative) and remarking, "This is good!"
One day the king and his friend were out on a hunting expedition. The friend would load and prepare the guns for the king. The friend had apparently done something wrong in preparing one of the guns, for after taking the gun from his friend, the king fired it and his thumb was blown off.
Examining the situation the friend remarked as usual, "This is good!"
To which the king replied, "No, this is NOT good!" and proceeded to send his friend to jail.
About a year later, the king was hunting in an area that he should have known to stay clear of. Cannibals captured him and took them to their village. They tied his hands, stacked some wood, set up a stake and bound him to the stake. As they came near to set fire to the wood, they noticed that the king was missing a thumb. Being superstitious, they never ate anyone that was less than whole. So untying the king, they sent him on his way.
As he returned home, he was reminded of the event that had taken his thumb and felt remorse for his treatment of his friend. He went immediately to the jail to speak with his friend. "You were right," he said, "it was good that my thumb was blown off. And he proceeded to tell the friend all that had just happened. "And so I am very sorry for sending you to jail for so long. It was bad of me to do this."
"No" his friend replied, "This is good!"
"What do you mean, "This is good?" How could it be good that I sent my friend to jail for a year?"
"If I had NOT been in jail, I would have been with you when you were captured."
Situations may not always seem pleasant while we are in them, but the promise of God is clear. If we love Him and live our lives according to His precepts, even that which seems to be bleak and hopeless will be turned by God for His glory and our benefit.
The best part of being in love with someone is being convinced that that person will be with us forever. Most of us start relationship believing in the promise of love without end. Unfortunately, not all relationships end the way we want them to.
To some, love comes in a fleeting moment and goes just as fast. But getting over the feeling always seems to take a lifetime, because the only person who can heal the pain is usually the very same person who hurt us and made us cry.
Sometimes just as we are about to accept the failure of our relationship, that person comes back to us and unknowingly destroys our defenses. Suddenly, we find ourselves hooked on love again. And it hurts even more because we know that person doesn’t share the same feeling anymore.
Even if there is the urge to forget because it hurts, there would always be that compelling reason to hope for love to come back. It is like waiting for the sun to shine in the middle of a storm.
The love that brings us pain should be the same love that would heal our hearts. When you love so much that it begins to hurt, then you have to learn to let go to lessen your pain.
Love hurts, and sometimes it hurts like there is no tomorrow. But there still is and there will always be one. No matter how battered and stricken we have been, there will always be a tomorrow that will bring hope and love. But that tomorrow will never come unless we leave the past behind and live today as we should.
Let the pain remain for a while and let the tears fall as they please. Then after all that, move on and find your place in this world where you will feel that everything is going to be all right.”
The most important, most critical component in successful loving is commitment. Not love. It’s easy to love without commitment. People do it all the time—easy to love, to give of oneself for a while. But commitment implies bonding in such a way that one promises to keep the fires of love burning indefinitely.
In the countless counseling sessions I have had with troubled couples over the years, there has always been the problem of a failing commitment on the part of at least one of the partners. Unless there is the raising of the level of commitment, the relationship is doomed. It’s finished. Sooner or later the stresses will take their toll and the relationship will begin to fall apart. On the other hand, look carefully at couples who are still very much in love after 20, 25 years. Their commitment to each other cannot be shaken. Neither can their love.
It also means shutting one’s heart to the possibility of loving another who might even be more attractive, even more lovable. Not easy. This is why solid commitments are not at all as common as we are led to believe. In fact, more often than not, I think that the commitment two lovers make are not equal. What I mean is that the commitment of one might be a whole lot more or a whole lot less than the partner’s.
We see it all the time. One loves more than the other, is more committed than the other. It is false to believe that two lovers love each other to the same degree. We have often seen lopsided love relationships where one partner is giving so much more to the relationship than the other. But writers and poets seem to always indicate that love isn’t just a two-way street, but an equal two-way street.
That hardly ever happens. It is impossible to determine exactly how much a man loves a woman or how much a woman cares for a man. Love cannot be measured and that can be a huge problem. You can love someone and tell him “I love you” and you’re telling the truth. But how much do you love him? Enough to let him court you? Enough to marry him? Enough to die for him? The greatest test of true love is commitment. And the greatest indicator of deep love is deep commitment. There can be no doubting this.
I have heard people say all the right words, make all the right moves and pledge undying love, only to walk away weeks or months later.
Were they in love? Sure they were. But not enough to allow them to hold strong in their love. Not enough to keep a commitment regardless of the pain.
A lover gets this sinking feeling when there is a sense that one is more committed than the other. When one is giving a lot more than one is receiving, when one’s love is a lot more solid than the creaky love of the partner.
When a couple believes strongly that their commitment to each other is rock solid, there is a deep sense of security, a feeling that it’s okay to give all because the gift of yourself is safe in the hands of the beloved. If, however, there is doubt or, even worse, the conviction that one is engaged in one-way giving, in a one-way commitment that is lopsided, then there is a tendency to pull back and not give as much. And when that happens, love begins to fade.
Traditions including All Saints Day and All Souls Day
The name comes from the Roman word 'novem' meaning nine, because it was the ninth month in their Roman calendar.
Few people find November pleasant. The Anglo-Saxons called November 'Wind monath', because it was the time when the cold winds began to blow. They also called it 'Blod monath', because it was the time when carnival charactercattle were slaughtered for winter food. The poet T.S. Elliot called it 'Sombre November'. Sir Walter Scott, in his long poem Marmion, wrote in 1808:
November's sky is chill and drear,
November's leaf is red and sear (withered)'
The first week of November has always been a time of festivals and celebrations marking the end of the harvest and beginning of Winter
All Saints' Day - 1 November
In the year 835 AD the Roman Catholic Church made 1st November a church holiday to honour all the saints. This feast day is called All Saints' Day.
All Saints' Day used to be known as All Hallows (Hallow being an old word meaning Saint or Holy Person). The feast day actually started the previous evening, the Eve of All Hallows or Hallowe'en.
Christians remember all the saints
On Saints' Day, Christians remember all 'men of good will' (saints), great ones and forgotten ones, who have died through the ages.
Saints are men and women from all ages and all walks of life, who were outstanding Christians. Some - the martyrs - died for their faith. All of them are honoured by the church.
All Saints' Day, together with All Souls' Day are know collectively as Hallowtide.